When you look at your body in the mirror, do you only see the parts you don’t like?

Do you think that if you could only eat fewer calories (less ice cream), work out more (burn off the ice cream), and just be more disciplined (never, ever buy ice cream), that you would FINALLY lose that extra weight and feel better about yourself?

Do you spend a lot of time focusing on what you’ve eaten and how it compares to what you should have eaten?

If you’ve tried all the “right things” – counted calories, done rigorous cardio, spent hundreds of dollars on diet books – and they didn’t work OR if you had planned to do those things but then didn’t do those things and hated yourself for it, you don’t have to be frustrated anymore. It’s not fair that you’ve put all that effort into and felt so much anxiety around what might not even be your fault.

That’s where all my clients started. My clients are smart, active, and successful in life, yet they’ve felt like losers when it comes to food – confused, overwhelmed, out of control, and negative about themselves.

Through years of working with my clients, I’ve learned the steps to take that create a healthy relationship with food and a positive self attitude.

My mission is to help you stop beating yourself up about things you don’t have any control over. I envision you feeling good about yourself and having a healthy relationship with food – the kind of relationship where you enjoy food, feel good about your choices, and don’t worry about it 24/7.

The big problem: most of what you’ve learned about food and your body is wrong.

MYTH #1: Calories in – calories out = weight loss. Nope. I debunked this myth in my last newsletter, check it out if you missed it: The Calorie Myth

MYTH #2: Only diet and exercise can affect your weight. Nope. I guarantee that if you only focus on diet and exercise you WILL feel frustrated, out of control, and bad about yourself.

That said, here’s a list of things that will unconditionally impact your body. Don’t let them impact how you feel about yourself. They’re just facts, they’re not your fault.

What’s important about this list: you don’t have control over these factors. Several of these items will likely apply to you, and if you want to get some specific input about what impacts you personally and what to do about it, we can talk one on one, no problem.

The Things You Cannot Change

Your Genes: You get what you get. Some people are tall, some have wide hips, some have their father’s nose, and others have thick ankles… and it’s not only your physical features. Genes control how fast you digest food and whether coffee keeps you up at night. Tendencies (not guarantees, just tendencies) toward high cholesterol and diabetes are gene-driven, too. Take a look at your family of origin. The genes they’ve passed on to you are going to undeniably, unavoidably, dictate features of your health and body. Please don’t beat yourself up for this. You can’t diet or exercise away your genes.

Your Microbiome: The diversity of the 100 trillion bacteria that live in your gut can affect your physical and mental health. The quantity and diversity of your gut bacteria are established at birth and by the first foods you eat as an infant. Gut bacteria impact the hormones and neurotransmitters that control your appetite, which can definitely affect your weight. (Spoiler alert: there actually is a way you can make these friendly bacteria work for you, more info coming next week.)

Your Medications: There are those of us who need pharmaceutical support, and it’s just a plain fact that some psychotropics and other drugs are ‘weight positive’. If you’re on a tricyclic or SSRI, a beta blocker, or insulin, for example, there may be weight gain you simply cannot control. Accepting that the medications that are keeping you alive are adding to your weight can be a hard pill to swallow, for sure, but please know that this fat is not your fault.

Antibiotics You’ve Taken: They indiscriminately kill off friendly gut bacteria while they’re killing bad bacteria, and the imbalance of those little guys has an effect on the way you feel hunger and fullness. Not only that, but some of the guys that get killed off would have been making Serotonin, which in addition to being a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter, impacts your appetite and digestion, too.

Please know that if you’re trying to manipulate your health and body via diet and exercise, you might be fighting a battle in futility. There are some things that you simply can’t control. Accept that there are facets of your health and your body that just are what they are. Like they say: “Accept The Things You Cannot Change.”

If you’ve been trying to change your body or feel better about yourself through diet and exercise AND you’re feeling frustrated about your lack of progress, let’s put an end to that. Stop beating up on yourself for things that aren’t even your fault. There are plenty of things you do have control over (more on that next week). I’d love for you to focus on those things.

You can move from obsessing over diet and exercise to having a peaceful relationship with food and your body by taking a different approach. You deserve a different way of living. Being all caught up in trying to diet and exercise away your body and the resultant negative self talk is exhausting. What if you were to accept the things you cannot change and start to use your energy to living your best life? To share your unique, gorgeous gifts and put more peace and happiness into your home, your community, the world?

I invite you to a Free Consultation. This private call is an opportunity for you to share your personal concerns, and for us to make a plan to reroute your efforts away from the things you can’t change and put them toward changing the things you can. This is an exciting shift away from struggle and obsession to acceptance of and peace with yourself. Imagine freeing up all that time, mental and physical energy – you could start using it on more meaningful and rewarding things. Like your friendships, your family, your career, and those hobbies that have woefully fallen by the wayside. How does that sound?

Next Week: Fat Is Not Your Fault: The Things You Can Change (exciting!)