It might sound like a ridiculous question: Who is the boss of you? The obvious answer is “me”, of course. Say it again, with conviction: “I am the grown up in charge of me.”
But does that transfer smoothly to your food choices and the way you eat? To what foods you chose, when you eat them, and how much you eat? Often not.
Here are some things I hear from clients:
“We had to eat everything on our plates. One night my sister had to sit at the table until bedtime because she wouldn’t eat her broccoli.”
“I had three brothers. It was like a feeding frenzy at dinner. You had to grab what you could and eat it fast to be sure you got enough.”
Those are childhood stories, of course, and we aren’t much in charge about food when we’re kids. But like everything else, the messages and habits we develop in our formative years are at the root of the way we do things as grown ups.
I work with women who are still members of the Clean Plate Club, as well as those who go after their food as if it’s the last they’ll ever get. My work is in helping them, now that they’re all grown up, to regroup, reassess their values, and learn to be true to themselves in making their decisions about their relationship with food.
Here’s the one that really breaks my heart. When a client says:
“I count points/calories/macros/hours and I use that as my guide for eating.”
My biggest problem with diets and restrictions of any sort is that they lead you further and further away from recognizing your body’s natural cues around eating. Following a diet means that someone else dictates what you eat, when you eat it, and how much of it you eat. Meaning, you’re not in charge of you. They are.
And they never even met you.
Those diets and the companies/celebrities/influencers who promote them don’t know anything about your personal tastes, levels of hunger and fullness, your lifestyle, where you came from or who you really are.
Those programs, whether they call themselves ‘diets’ or ‘lifestyles’, are a trap for giving up your autonomy and agency around your relationship with food. And you don’t need them.
My clients come to believe in their own inner knowing about what they need, and embrace their power to take care of themselves. Nope, it’s not easy, but with practice you can break free, too.
You can be the Boss of You.
I’m happy to share with you what I know and what works. I really want You to be the Grownup in charge of You! Shoot me an email, let’s talk.